why did tregedy have to strike?

i really hate myself right now...my carelessness showed it's ultimate low on wednesday during me and tim's last full day in tennessee...

me and him went to the arcade at the hickory hallow mall(i think that's what it's called) and we brought his video camera so we could tape any antics or memories we'd like to keep...

we left without the camera because i misplaced it by the ddr machine and someone made off with it...

i feel so goddamn horrible...i did manage to find a replacement on ebay for $133...i should be very happy about this...however, i don't quite have $133 in my account so i had to borrow money from tim to cover the expense($40 which i have to pay back)...i don't mind the fact that i felt i had to replace it and that i only owe him $40...it's just that i was planning on using that money on him...now i don't even have enough money to fill up my gas tank until the 26th...and gas prices just went up nearly 20 cents around here...

how could i be so careless? how could i fuck up this bad? i hate myself so much...i'm a horrible fucking girlfriend...

but i'm glad he doesn't think so...i don't know what i'd do if i lost him...

oh well, onto the bank so that i can get the money order i need...